Review / Real Life by Brandon Taylor

“Wallace is unwell.”

Real Life is a slow, tense psychological drama, building to an excruciating climax that doesn’t quite release. Wallace, a graduate student in a midwestern biology lab, comes close to many things but never quite commits—and in many ways Real Life hovers between the eternal question of staying or going, between possibility and distrust.

The writing is lucid and intense, as Brandon Taylor masters both the subtle beauty of lab work and the straining micro-aggressions against black, gay Wallace. Taylor’s dialogue, which can be sparse and Pinteresque, shifts into other modalities—lengthy confessionals, spiky group scenes.

Amongst other things, Real Life is preoccupied with an idea of selfishness. Wallace is often told by his friends that he is behaving selfishly, that he is a selfish person. As a reader, one must grapple with the accusations against his character; is Wallace behaving in a manner that appears selfish because he has failed to think about those around him, because he is carrying a far heavier load than the others, and is coming to a boiling point? Often, these accusations become reflexive, and perhaps meaningless.

A scene towards the end involves both Wallace and his friend/lover Miller make critical disclosures about their past—Miller confessing that he once hurt someone and Wallace confessing that he has once been irretrievably hurt. When Wallace leaves in the wee hours without saying goodbye, Miller responds later with anger, betrayal, as though his experience of the night were the only one that mattered. Wallace is constantly apologising for the things he does to protect himself, and the apologies also become a form of protection—against the anger and disappointment of others who have not taken the time to understand. It is a book for our time, drawing out the heaviness of the systemic through institutions and individuals.

Small points in the book feel unresolved, relationships don’t quite tie up, and a sense of dissatisfaction lingers long after finishing. But after all, this is Real Life—true resolutions are few and far between.